I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
