you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
