I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
