Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Randomize
