if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
