At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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