and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
