therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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