brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
