there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
