i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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