i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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