so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I could make wine with my vomit
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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