Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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