Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize