We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
