just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
