I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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