How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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