She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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