bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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