a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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