A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He shit in the fireplace
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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