we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
