Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
