Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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