Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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