WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
