She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
