can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
