That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
