What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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