We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
