She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
