The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
