An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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