so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i out mim tonsoeep
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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