Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I FOUND THE LEGS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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