remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Still dying that you shit outside
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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