half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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