the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
