As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
