it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
