my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So vagazzling was a success
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
