I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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