wrigley field is MILF paradise
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
