You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize