Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
