just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
