i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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