Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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