So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
