You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
