no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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