someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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