I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
