It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
