I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
