even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
