I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
